Number 52, Sadly Simple

I didn't mean to write something sad and depressing, but that appears to be what happened here.  I thought I might be creating a super efficient creature, called a Simple, whose needs were much fewer than that of humans, and who might be quite a fun character, but it went another way!

Sadly Simple

Most people say that simple’s best;
‘Try not to complicate things, lest
It gets too hard for you to cope.’
They’ll say you might not have a hope.

‘Keep it simple’ they all say,
And Simple says to them, ‘Okay!
Whatever you are giving me
I will keep it if it’s free!’

But let us not misunderstand
This question on the other hand;
Simple’s not what simple seems,
He’s not a creature of our dreams.

Let me introduce him here;
One leg, one arm, and just one ear.
Simple doesn’t need a pair
Of anything or anywhere.

One finger and one thumb are quite
Enough to use a pen and write,
He keeps a look-out with one eye
It is quite easy if you try.

With only one of what he needs,
It is less often that he feeds;
He doesn’t need three meals a day,
It’s economical that way.

He only has to buy one shoe,
One trouser, and one glove will do.
One hair means that he needn’t buy
A shampoo, cut, and no blow dry.

Simple has an easy life;
He’s married to a simple wife.
They concentrate on simple stuff;
All they need is just enough.

They have no interest in books,
Neither of them ever cooks;
They eat from packets, watch TV,
They say it’s easier you see.

In many ways it might be true,
Given that he doesn’t do
More than he has to every day,
Simply done in every way.

When he goes down to the shops,
Obviously he simply hops,
And being Simple also means,
That when he’s tired he simply leans.

Because the Simples eat like that
Both are becoming really fat;
Their simple ways are not as good,
As some people said they would.

Simple always tends to do
The simplest things, and always few,
He doesn’t want to have to wonder
If he'll thrive or he'll go under.

The things he likes are pretty cheesey,
He only cares that they are easy,
No sophistication here;
He’d rather something cheap than dear.

He talks in words that aren’t too long,
That way he doesn’t get them wrong.
You’ll find he always will agree
And won’t argue with you or me.

So as you see it might not be
That simple’s best for you and me,
And that’s the reason that we are,
More complicated now by far.

And Simple simply will not go
Very far, he doesn’t know
The things that you have learned at school;
And clever’s better as a rule!

© Stephen Saunders

To book Steph'nonsense for a rhyming evening:
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