Number 43.
I realise that this is a bit of a rant, and could upset some people, for which I apologise. However, my views are only that, and clearly they are not shared by a great many people in respect of this subject. I sincerely hope that they continue not to share my views as long as they live, while more and more young people who haven’t formulated them yet do!
The Customer is Always Wrong!
There was a time when only men,
Dared have tattoos, and even then
They seldom ever looked much good,
As if they really ever could.
No doubt there were a few exceptions,
Drawing positive receptions.
But mostly they were poorly done,
And pretty soon the ink had run.
So all you get after a bit,
Is a smudge, or part of it.
Nothing left that you can tell,
Nothing you can still see well.
When you’re young it might seem cool,
To show off to your friends at school,
But one day when you’re getting old,
You will not be quite so bold.
You will be stuck with something that
Reminds us you were once a brat!
When now you wish to be more serious,
You’ll think you must have been delirious...
Ever to have said okay
To fashion pressure on that day,
And let some person ruin you,
And turn your skin to nasty blue.
So has it not occurred to you,
When paying for a new tattoo,
To ask someone of greater years,
If they’re still happy having theirs?
I can tell you there are no
Good examples that I know,
Of doodles that in time will prove,
That they can nature’s work improve.
No lovely girl is made more pretty,
By a scribble or a ditty,
And if you’re plain there is no chance,
That tattoos will your looks enhance!
There are many better ways,
That you can use on special days,
To make yourself a bit more pretty,
Than drawing love hearts on your titty!
You’re always on a loser at
The tattoo parlour, you know that,
Don’t contemplate it very long;
The customer is always wrong!
© Stephen Saunders
There was a time when only men,
Dared have tattoos, and even then
They seldom ever looked much good,
As if they really ever could.
No doubt there were a few exceptions,
Drawing positive receptions.
But mostly they were poorly done,
And pretty soon the ink had run.
So all you get after a bit,
Is a smudge, or part of it.
Nothing left that you can tell,
Nothing you can still see well.
When you’re young it might seem cool,
To show off to your friends at school,
But one day when you’re getting old,
You will not be quite so bold.
You will be stuck with something that
Reminds us you were once a brat!
When now you wish to be more serious,
You’ll think you must have been delirious...
Ever to have said okay
To fashion pressure on that day,
And let some person ruin you,
And turn your skin to nasty blue.
So has it not occurred to you,
When paying for a new tattoo,
To ask someone of greater years,
If they’re still happy having theirs?
I can tell you there are no
Good examples that I know,
Of doodles that in time will prove,
That they can nature’s work improve.
No lovely girl is made more pretty,
By a scribble or a ditty,
And if you’re plain there is no chance,
That tattoos will your looks enhance!
There are many better ways,
That you can use on special days,
To make yourself a bit more pretty,
Than drawing love hearts on your titty!
You’re always on a loser at
The tattoo parlour, you know that,
Don’t contemplate it very long;
The customer is always wrong!
© Stephen Saunders
If you have already got one, I hope you are forever thrilled with it, but please girls, don’t have any more.
To book Steph'nonsense for a rhyming evening:
bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212
Agent / publisher wanted.
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