Number 12. A Decent Sort

Number 12.

A Decent Sort.

People say I’m a decent sort;
I like a smoke after dinner and a glass of port,
I mooch about in faded jeans,
Enjoy life a bit, and know what it means.

I’ve a large old house and a fair few dogs,
And keep the fireplace stocked with logs,
The carpet is scruffy and very threadbare,
And so are my jackets, but what do I care?

I don’t worry about anything here,
I’m deaf in that eye and I’m blind in that ear,
You can say whatever you chose;
I’m quite happy, I’ve nothing to lose.

I can’t be bothered to buy a new car,
The old one still works, and I rarely go far,
I’ve no desire to try to look flash,
I don’t use credit cards, I prefer cash.

I can’t be bothered to go up to town,
The pretentious places all get me down,
The vapid people I inevitably see,
Never fail to irritate me.

I prefer to call a few friends,
Put on a dinner, ignore all the trends,
A brace of pheasant, a bottle of wine,
Some good conversation and everything’s fine.

My wife is starting to look a bit old,
But we love each other and she keeps out the cold,
She keeps an eye as I potter about,
She thinks I’m daft, the silly old trout!

But I’m not really as soft as she thinks,
I’m still a scratch down at the links,
I can still get three birds with two barrels,
And bring down the roof singing Christmas carols!

Any time I feel a bit low,
If the sky’s turning grey, or beginning to snow,
I take up my rod and head for the stream,
There’s nothing like catching a trout or a bream.

Fresh air is all that I need,
A pint of bitter and a jolly good feed,
So I call up the wife and we meet at the pub,
And trade in a fish at the bar for some grub.

What more could a fellow desire?
I’ll be content to the day I expire,
I count my blessings day after day,
What about you, what would you say?

I don’t worry about anything here,
I’m deaf in that eye and I’m blind in that ear,
You can say whatever you think,
Did you just offer to buy me a drink?

© Stephen Saunders

Incidentally, I should say that all these are my own work and therefore my copyright.  However, I am happy for anyone to cut and copy them to read out to children etc, just don't go publishing them without asking first!  Having said that, I would be very interested to hear from a publisher or agent.  I hope that one or two might be lyrical enough to be put to music, so if anyone wants to have a go with any of them, please do, there could be a Christmas song coming up some time soon, and a Christmas hit would be a big pay day!  353 to go.


To book Steph'nonsense for a rhyming evening:
bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212

Agent / publisher wanted.