Number 32. Bare With Me!

Bare With Me!

Many people cannot spell

Their English language very well;

A name, or address often writ,

Without a capital in it!

They know not how to punctuate,

Use made up words like 'unctuate',

Does it mean apply a lotion,

Or maybe some new dancing motion?

But that is how language evolves;

A new word comes, one more dissolves.

George Bush was one who contributed,

As he got things convoluted!

Uneducatified he was,

Even though he was the boss;

The president of his great nation,

Where every verb has got an ‘ation.

Some people put apostrophes

In plural words like spuds or knees,

Then leave them out where they should be;

In children’s or in I’ll just see.

Less is employed more and more,

While fewer less and less for sure.

Less water or less sugar’s fine;

Less people is a worrying sign.

Fewer water people know

Sounds daft, so why then go

And get it wrong when using less?

It has become an awful mess.

And while we try to champion fewer,

We get more language from the sewer.

Plus, as if that’s not enough,

We’ve; no wot I mean, like and stuff!

Maybe it doesn’t matter much;

We get the gist of it as such.

But it would be that much better

If we perfected every letter:

My son’s head teacher’s quite a bird;

When it’s written and not heard,

She needs to know her spelling’s right;

Or she might get a nasty fright:

She sent an e-mail to me twice,

And though I know she’s very nice;

She had a problem, as it were,

And asked me if I’d bare with her!

© Stephen Saunders

To book Steph'nonsense for a rhyming evening:
bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212

Agent / publisher wanted.

© Stephen Saunders