Number 10. The Old Trout

Today was alright, after so much rain it was remarkably sunny almost the whole day.  I drove the truck, delivered trees, and picked a carrier bag full of wild garlic for the pub kitchen from beside a quiet country lane near Alton.  When I got home I walked through the woods to Redford where there is an amazing old garage, the sort which has stuff piled up high everywhere and it is a wonder how they can find anything or make any room to get a car in to fix, but they do.  I must go and photograph it before it disappears, as there are very few like it left.  Anyway, they had my MG for a few days to sort out the indicators which packed up on the way back through France the other day.  It was a lovely walk in the warm sunshine, but involved a lot of careful footwork as the whole way was waterlogged.  Then it was a short but delightful blast back in the car, trying hard not to get it dirty.

The Old Trout.

I love my wife, my trouble and strife,

She lets me do the dishes.

She lets me do whatever I like,

As long as it’s what she wishes.

It’s lucky I love to mow the grass,

And stick my hand in the drains.

It’s me who likes to dash down the path,

To bring things in when it rains.

I have no qualms about catching mice,

And throwing the dead ones away.

Fixing the plumbing is really very nice,

It’s something I could do all day.

If the shopping is heavy and needs to be carried,

It suits me down to the ground;

There’s nothing better for the man that she married,

It’s why she has me around.

Every now and then the dog or the cat,

Leaves something unpleasant on the floor;

You know how I relish cleaning all that,

I wish they’d do it much more.

When the car gets a flat or something like that,

And somebody has to get out;

I’m happy as Larry cranking up the jack,

While she sits in the car, the old trout.

If it’s cold or it’s wet, if it’s dark or it’s muddy,

If it’s going to be a bit of a pain;

"Yes dear, alright I was going already,

You don’t have to ask me again!"

But she sees me right, every single night,

She’s brilliant when it comes to making dinner.

It’s always delicious, an absolute delight;

There’s no doubt it’s me who’s the winner!

© Stephen Saunders

bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212

Agent / publisher wanted.