Day Two
Day two, and I already realise that this is a very big challenge. But what is the point of a a small challenge, or an easy one? To write something readable every day will require considerable effort. In the past ten years I have only written about ten rhyming stories. One a year. One a day looks a bit ambitious. So if I drop behind I have a few pieces in stock. This will have the added benefit of giving you, if you exist, something to read while I am getting going.
I wonder if this could be a project to raise money for a charity. Perhaps I could get sponsorship to complete the task., like running a marathon. If I do this I will need to network the blog to as many people as possible, and I’m not really very sure how to do this. I need to find out how to set up a charity collection facility on the blog. I’d love to do this for BBC Children in Need. Does anyone know how to do this?
Number two.
Down the Drain
My mother warned me not to stay for too long in the bath,
She said I’d shrink and disappear, which only made me laugh.
Instead I stayed for hours on end, my fingers turning wrinkly,
Pale and white, just like my feet, horrible and crinkly!
Some of my best ideas were had, lying in the water,
Even though my mother said I really shouldn’t oughta;
“You’ll catch your death of cold”, she’d say, if I wasn’t careful;
She worried all the time you see, the type who’s rather prayerful.
And then one day she was proved right, just as I pulled the plug,
Before I had a chance to get my feet out on the rug,
I shrank until I floated free, smaller than my duck,
And headed for the whirlpool, running out of luck!
I yelled for help, to no avail, (she never heard a word),
And disappeared down in the drain; but would have much preferred
To have my towel and dressing gown wrapped cosily around me,
And saunter slowly down the stairs and sit down for my tea.
My mother warned me not to stay for too long in the bath,
She said I’d shrink and disappear, which only made me laugh.
Instead I stayed for hours on end, my fingers turning wrinkly,
Pale and white, just like my feet, horrible and crinkly!
Some of my best ideas were had, lying in the water,
Even though my mother said I really shouldn’t oughta;
“You’ll catch your death of cold”, she’d say, if I wasn’t careful;
She worried all the time you see, the type who’s rather prayerful.
And then one day she was proved right, just as I pulled the plug,
Before I had a chance to get my feet out on the rug,
I shrank until I floated free, smaller than my duck,
And headed for the whirlpool, running out of luck!
I yelled for help, to no avail, (she never heard a word),
And disappeared down in the drain; but would have much preferred
To have my towel and dressing gown wrapped cosily around me,
And saunter slowly down the stairs and sit down for my tea.
I made a
desperate grab for anything to get a hold on,
Then held my breath and waited till the water had all gone.
But what exactly was it that I’d got a hold of there?
Something long and bendy, and covered with black hair!
A pair of eyes on two short stalks peered bright and hungrily
From the dark recesses of the overflow at me.
So that was where the spider lived who came out every night,
And wandered round the bathtub giving everyone a fright!
I didn’t stop to say hello, I didn’t say goodbye,
I let go quickly, shut my eyes and hoped I wouldn’t die.
I plopped into the soapy water lying in the U-bend;
And diving down somehow I made it to the other end.
The water gone, the empty pipe was straight now, like an arrow,
But it was dark and slippery and also rather narrow.
I slithered on not knowing where the next bend would direct me,
And then it came, why down of course, with nothing to protect me!
Then held my breath and waited till the water had all gone.
But what exactly was it that I’d got a hold of there?
Something long and bendy, and covered with black hair!
A pair of eyes on two short stalks peered bright and hungrily
From the dark recesses of the overflow at me.
So that was where the spider lived who came out every night,
And wandered round the bathtub giving everyone a fright!
I didn’t stop to say hello, I didn’t say goodbye,
I let go quickly, shut my eyes and hoped I wouldn’t die.
I plopped into the soapy water lying in the U-bend;
And diving down somehow I made it to the other end.
The water gone, the empty pipe was straight now, like an arrow,
But it was dark and slippery and also rather narrow.
I slithered on not knowing where the next bend would direct me,
And then it came, why down of course, with nothing to protect me!
Next thing I
knew, flat on my back I saw a chink of light
Shining on a greasy wall a little to my right.
I wriggled over to the edge, across the smelly surface;
I had to get up out of there, that was my only purpose.
A shadow flickered on the wall, enormously and scary,
A whiskered face and beady eyes, its body wet and hairy;
The rat ran past and didn’t see me hiding in the gloom;
I think it had its heart set on some rubbish to consume.
It disappeared down in a tunnel; I didn’t choose to follow,
The thought of being eaten up was more than I could swallow.
I gathered up some bits of stuff, I don’t know what it was,
And made a pile just high enough to reach up to some moss.
I got a hand hold here and there and climbed out in the light,
But just as I got out of there I had another fright!
My mother stood there with her mop, as tall as the old church spire;
From where I stood it didn’t seem that she could get much higher!
Shining on a greasy wall a little to my right.
I wriggled over to the edge, across the smelly surface;
I had to get up out of there, that was my only purpose.
A shadow flickered on the wall, enormously and scary,
A whiskered face and beady eyes, its body wet and hairy;
The rat ran past and didn’t see me hiding in the gloom;
I think it had its heart set on some rubbish to consume.
It disappeared down in a tunnel; I didn’t choose to follow,
The thought of being eaten up was more than I could swallow.
I gathered up some bits of stuff, I don’t know what it was,
And made a pile just high enough to reach up to some moss.
I got a hand hold here and there and climbed out in the light,
But just as I got out of there I had another fright!
My mother stood there with her mop, as tall as the old church spire;
From where I stood it didn’t seem that she could get much higher!
I yelled and
waved to no avail, as she emptied out her bucket,
And you can no doubt guess which way she thought that she would chuck it!
A wall of soapy water caught me right up to my neck,
And away I went into the ditch, a sorry little wreck.
The ditch was full and flowing fast, it was hard to stay afloat,
So I grabbed an empty matchbox with which I made a boat.
Exhausted now I climbed inside and soon I fell asleep;
I let the stream take me along, a helpless, hopeless heap.
I dreamed of normal things like lunch, and getting punched at school,
And slipping down the plughole, and being called a fool.
And when I woke the sun was out, shining on the river,
The air was warm, but I was wet, causing me to shiver.
I stuck my head over the side to find out what I could,
Then carefully and gingerly I knelt up, then I stood.
I had to know how far I’d gone, but I didn’t want to tip up;
The last thing that I needed now was yet another slip-up.
And you can no doubt guess which way she thought that she would chuck it!
A wall of soapy water caught me right up to my neck,
And away I went into the ditch, a sorry little wreck.
The ditch was full and flowing fast, it was hard to stay afloat,
So I grabbed an empty matchbox with which I made a boat.
Exhausted now I climbed inside and soon I fell asleep;
I let the stream take me along, a helpless, hopeless heap.
I dreamed of normal things like lunch, and getting punched at school,
And slipping down the plughole, and being called a fool.
And when I woke the sun was out, shining on the river,
The air was warm, but I was wet, causing me to shiver.
I stuck my head over the side to find out what I could,
Then carefully and gingerly I knelt up, then I stood.
I had to know how far I’d gone, but I didn’t want to tip up;
The last thing that I needed now was yet another slip-up.
Suddenly I
realised I had to lie down flat,
As a bramble like a massive bridge appeared just like that.
The matchbox bumped and briefly stopped, just long enough for me
To reach up with both arms and grab a giant blackberry.
I couldn’t manage more than half, but it tasted really good,
And so I felt much better now, just as I’d hoped I would.
Then, as the river swept me on, a swan came drifting past;
It hissed at me and set my heart beating rather fast.
Now I knew that nothing more than fate was in control;
There wasn’t much that I could do to change things, on the whole.
And so I lay back in my box and watched the world go past;
No longer feeling so afraid,...but my mother was aghast!
She’d been upstairs to drag me out, and found that I was missing,
Where could I be, she’d no idea, and you know that she was wishing
That she had said “Get straight to bed, never mind the tub”,
And brought me up a tray instead, from which to have my grub.
As a bramble like a massive bridge appeared just like that.
The matchbox bumped and briefly stopped, just long enough for me
To reach up with both arms and grab a giant blackberry.
I couldn’t manage more than half, but it tasted really good,
And so I felt much better now, just as I’d hoped I would.
Then, as the river swept me on, a swan came drifting past;
It hissed at me and set my heart beating rather fast.
Now I knew that nothing more than fate was in control;
There wasn’t much that I could do to change things, on the whole.
And so I lay back in my box and watched the world go past;
No longer feeling so afraid,...but my mother was aghast!
She’d been upstairs to drag me out, and found that I was missing,
Where could I be, she’d no idea, and you know that she was wishing
That she had said “Get straight to bed, never mind the tub”,
And brought me up a tray instead, from which to have my grub.
And so it was
I floated on, the river turning salty;
I smelled the sea and heard the gulls, if my senses were not faulty.
The water turned quite choppy and I was tipped out by a wave,
And though it was a tiny life, my life I had to save.
I swam as hard as ever I could and crawled out on the sand,
And sat there looking round about to see what was to hand.
And then I spotted far away a cave in which to shelter;
Before the gulls came after me I ran there helter-skelter.
Deep in the cave where it was dark, I started to relax,
And in the gloom I thought I saw some distant daylight cracks.
But as I stumbled through the dark I tripped on something soft,
And then a little farther on someone distinctly coughed!
I stood back up and felt around, it seemed like all around me
Was fabric, soft like summer dresses, whatever could it be?
And then I tripped again and fell headlong to the floor;
And in the tumble and the crash I burst open a door!
I smelled the sea and heard the gulls, if my senses were not faulty.
The water turned quite choppy and I was tipped out by a wave,
And though it was a tiny life, my life I had to save.
I swam as hard as ever I could and crawled out on the sand,
And sat there looking round about to see what was to hand.
And then I spotted far away a cave in which to shelter;
Before the gulls came after me I ran there helter-skelter.
Deep in the cave where it was dark, I started to relax,
And in the gloom I thought I saw some distant daylight cracks.
But as I stumbled through the dark I tripped on something soft,
And then a little farther on someone distinctly coughed!
I stood back up and felt around, it seemed like all around me
Was fabric, soft like summer dresses, whatever could it be?
And then I tripped again and fell headlong to the floor;
And in the tumble and the crash I burst open a door!
I came to on
the carpet, right at my mother’s toes…
She didn’t look too pleased to see me, heaven only knows!
Whatever was I thinking of, why had I been in there?
And what was that piece of seaweed doing in my hair?
She didn’t look too pleased to see me, heaven only knows!
Whatever was I thinking of, why had I been in there?
And what was that piece of seaweed doing in my hair?
© Stephen Saunders
Two down, 363 to go. I am off work today, and I only get paid when I’m there, so I hope this is time well spent. I drive a truck for a tree nursery, delivering to landscape designers, big garden projects, rich people’s houses, new developments, old well-established places like the National Trust and all manner of private and public places where trees, hedges and shrubs are needed. I’ll give them a plug shall I? Griffin Nursery in Milland. But they are a trade-only nursery, so probably not good advertising here! Anyway, on Tuesday the truck had a problem with the brakes and has had to go in for repair so I have the best part of three days off. This gives me a chance to get going with this.
To book Steph'nonsense for a rhyming evening:
bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212
Agent / publisher wanted.
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