Number 47, Aliens.

 

Aliens!

Jack and Jill went up the pub,
To get a pint of bitter;
Just one, they said, then home to bed,
They told the baby sitter!

But one pint led to several more,
And Jack and Jill got sloshed.
Meanwhile the kids had closed their lids,
Asleep, well fed and washed.

The baby sitter wondered if,
The pair were live or dead.
By half past two she clearly knew,
She had to go to bed.

The baby sitter charged a fee,
Of twenty pounds a night.
They were so late that at this rate,
She’d treble it alright.

Next morning there was still no sign
Of any Jack or Jill.
The time went by, and by and by,
Adding to her bill.

She made some breakfast for the kids,
To school she took the three.
Then calmly she went off to see,
Where Jack and Jill could be.

The landlord at the pub recalled
Them pitching out at one;
He was vexed about what next,
He saw to them was done!

In the car park near the road,
An alien had waited;
Jack and Jill had stood quite still,
Their drunken breath abated…

The landlord said he shouted out,
But could not make a sound,
He saw the pair just floating there,
Three feet off the ground!

Suddenly there was a flash,
And everybody vanished;
The landlord said, inside his head,
The lot of them were banished!

And don’t come back, I don’t need you,
To make me a laughing stock,
I know the press will make a mess;
And me they’ll love to mock!

Indeed they never did return;
The kids were quite upset.
The girl who baby-sat that day,
Today is still there yet!


© Stephen Saunders