Number 34, Getting Legless

This one is pretty odd, I admit.  As I have remarked before, although I write this stuff, it is as if I am being channeled, as what ends up on the paper is not really the product of any planning or forethought!  I think what happened here is that I sometimes get asked by children how I lost my leg (I really do only have one), and make up wild stories about it, and several of them got caught up together:

Getting legless.

I used to have more legs than now,

But lost most of them, this is how:

The first to go was on a farm;

The baler was what did it harm.

The next one came off when I crashed;

That leg against a bus got mashed.

It put a stop to driving fast;

Although that leg was not my last!

Another one was lost soon after;

I think the shark was drawn by laughter.

As we frolicked in the sea,

It made a beeline right for me.

A crocodile or alligator,

Inevitably got me later.

Silly though it sounds to you;

It happened in my local zoo!

Frost bite got another one,

By now I’m down to nearly none,

But luckily I had some spares,

Until I broke them on the stairs!

Not everyone is quite like me;

And you might say, that’s luckily.

But I can warn you to beware,

And of your legs take greater care.

Don’t fill your boots with alcohol,

Make abstinence your protocol;

Walk straight and tall and don’t see double,

And keep yourself well out of trouble.

Because there are so many ways,

That a leg can end its days.

I have only one leg now...

I’ll try to keep it anyhow!

© Stephen Saunders

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