Number 63, Fat Cat!

F-hat Cat!

The Cat in the Hat is now fat!
He used to be really quite thin,
He’s eating junk food and all that
Not the cat food you get in a tin.

It’s part of a general malaise,
That’s sweeping the western world;
Cats are inclined just to laze,
In front of the TV they’re curled!

Whereas he used to be fun,
And zoom around causing a riot,
Now he’s as quiet as a nun,
But in need of going on a diet!

It’s not that he’s getting too old,
To go out and entertain you;
But because it’s a little bit cold,
He can’t really be bothered to!

Sometimes he thinks about you,
About the good times that he’s had,
But even Thing One and Thing Two
Have got the malaise pretty bad!

They have both grown up into slobs,
No manners at all I’m afraid;
Their figures are much more like blobs,
Which of course is what pizzas have made!

But worry not; help is at hand,
Their days being fat may be up;
Out of their house they've been banned;
The place is required for a pup!

Out go the Cat and the Hat,
Out go Thing One and Thing Two,
Out through the flap on the mat,
Without any how do you do!

For warmth they will have to run round,
For dinner they’ll now have to wait;
The pizzas will go to the hound,
While the three of them all lose some weight!

So to make the most of it all,
The Cat in the Hat might as well
Get out his old bat and ball,
And come and make life for you hell!

If you thought it was chaos before,
And your house was left in a mess,
Your fish didn’t like it for sure;
This time he will not even less!

                                                                                                               © Stephen Saunders