Number 89, Nuts!

Nuts!

Dear Sir I feel I must complain,
About the service on your plane;
I flew last week to Timbuktu,
And spent an hour stuck in the loo!

Eventually when I was freed,
I found that somehow I had peed
A little bit on my left shoe,
And asked a steward what to do...

He thought it was a proper joke,
And splutt'ring feared that he would choke!
He told me not to be so daft;
In front of everyone he laughed!

I slunk back to my scheduled seat,
And asked for something small to eat;
The steward brought a bag of nuts,
And said they’d settle down my guts.

But now I had to open them,
And here your packets I condemn;
They are so tough to get into,
I thought I’d send them on to you.

Please find enclosed a peanut bag,
Which trying to open’s such a drag.
You took my scissors at the gate,
And this is why I you berate.

Your charmless steward offered no
Assistance as he had to go,
And make a coffee or a tea,
For one deserving more than me.

I can’t believe these peanuts need,
To thwart me when I’m try to feed,
By hiding in so tough a sack,
That fingers through it cannot hack.

Otherwise I have to say,
That flying with you on that day,
Was satisfactory, just about,
But better after I’d got out!

I got to Timbuktu alive,
Even if you did connive
To minimise the service you
Provided, which is why I sue.

Please send to me in the next post,
What I consider as the most
Essential compensation I
Require before next time I fly.

I want a promise that you will
Ensure your cabin staff fulfill;
I want my nuts to be presented,
In a way much less resented!

© Stephen Saunders

Please read number 54 again now.

To book Stephen for a rhyming evening:
bowleyfarm@gmail.com or 01428 741212

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